On Being a Contribution:
I can sympathize with Zander’s (2000) predicament of feeling like he never had anything worthwhile to say at the dinner table. I can remember those moments where I felt compelled to make something up. It wasn’t my fault though. School bored me. It was much too easy. Needless to say I was never able to contribute much.
On the other hand, I am reminded of a quote in one my favorite movies, “Home for the Holidays” (Foster & Rajski, 1995) Two of the main characters played by Holly Hunter and Dylan McDermott are discuss how awkward they feel around their parents. McDermott’s character responds that whenever he’s around his father he asks him how he is and the response is always “Bogey bogey par par son.” McDermott’s character reveals that he doesn’t have a clue what that’s supposed to mean.
I think that part of the reason why we might not feel as if we contribute is because it is hard to find someone to validate us for our thoughts, emotions, and interests.
Taking these two concepts to heart, I began to surmise that I could apply this to the classroom, and on some small level I do. I always ask with genuine interest what my students are going through. It goes back to something that I learned in my undergrad degree. When you ask someone how they are is it just a conversation starter? Do you really care? When they ask you do you deliver a canned response and continue walking? Of course it helps that I’ve always been more able to relate to small children more than I do with adults.
After reading this particular chapter, I plan to follow Zander’s letter writing example yet again in my classroom. I too want my students to contribute, and the white sheet method will work nicely. I know that my students do contribute, but the simple act of writing it down may make it both more relevant and more obvious.
On Leading:
I must admit that I’ve followed Zander’s example here. I don’t lead from the front of the room; in fact, I don’t lead at all. I let my students do that. I give them a gentle nudge here and there, but more can be learned in relinquishing control than maintaining it.
Rule #6.
I’m beginning to enjoy how Zander begins his chapters with anecdotes. As I read this passage, I couldn’t’ help but think how I plan on creating a giant poster for my room that states “Kindly Remember Rule #6.” I think that as adults we tend to take ourselves too seriously far too often. I know that I do from time to time. In fact, I take quite a bit seriously that a year from now won’t even matter. The problem with ignoring rule #6 is that it prevents us from enjoying the process because it only lets us stress about the imaginary outcomes.
Foster, J. & Rajski, P (Producer), & Foster, J. (Director). (1995), Home for the holidays [motion picture]. United States: Paramount Pictures.
Zander, R. S. & Zander, B. (2000). The art of possibility. Boston, MA: Harvard Business School Press
Bringing the family into the idea of contribution reveals a lot about how and why we see ourselves the way we do. I grew up with 3 older brothers who were in my perception way stronger, faster, and smarter than I was. I've realized now that is not true, but I spent my childhood observing them and myself. That is the contribution that I have developed more than they have. I am better able to observe my own short comings and put myself in the place of others. I am working on accurately assessing my strengths.
ReplyDeleteI was just going to ask what the hell "bogey, bogey, par, par" meant until I realized that I thought he said "boogey, boogey, par, par" which would be something completely different. Did the character ever figure it out? I hate cute non-answers when a simple "I'm fine, son" would have sufficed.
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