"BLAME" by Joe Huber 2010
"The first part is to declare 'I am the framework for everything that happens in my life'" (Zander, 2000).
It's easy to get caught up in the blaming game. Fingers are pointed and words are exchanged. Each side strives to make their point so effectively (and sometimes loudly) that they don't often hear what the other person is trying to say. Sometimes this is the outcome of the particular game that we have chosen to play. Far too often we feel like we are at the whim of some larger force or some grand scheme when, in reality, we have the ability to shape our own destinies simply in viewing the world from reality glasses.
Far too often I've seen the fault and blame waltz, and sometimes I've been a willing participant. After all, it's easy to blame a slight fumble or misstep on your dance partner claiming that they have two left feet or stepped on yours.
It's that system of reward and punishment that we use to measure accountability that facilitates this behavior. Consider that high stakes standardized test that is administered to our students each spring, and you'll see what I mean. Students either score high, which results in a reward for them (passing to the next grade level), reward for the school (A status earns prestige and more money), and rewards for the staff (continued employment). Should these students not do well on the test, they are held back, schools lose funding, and employees are fired. For two years in a row, my school has failed to make AYP, despite being an A+ school. The first year we were told it was the fault of the teachers because we weren't differentiating enough. The teachers in turn blamed the students saying that they failed the test on purpose or just weren't smart enough. This year there was another round of blame, but I didn't pay attention to it. I zoned out.
I would rather be the board than one of the players this year. Maybe those students who didn't win the game last year did so because they really didn't want to play it. At some point we have to realize that the rules were written by adults, for adults. Children are the innocent pawns that are forced to play the board game when they would rather play a video game. They are bored with the board.
In typing this I've just had an epiphany. I don't want to be the board, I want to be the playing field.
Zander, R.S., & Zander, B. (2000). The art of possibility. Boston, MA: Harvard Business School Press.
1 comments:
One of the hardest things that I think we have to realize is human beings is that we are all a bit odd or strange to someone. That being said, I often fly my freak flag proudly and prominently.
It truly is a great lesson to learn to never say anything that you might regret. Years ago I decided to live my life this way. I do try to think and listen more than I speak. I too look towards my faith as a bit of guidance and now that I have rule #6 in my repertoire I feel much better about the way I approach situations.
I actually practiced shining my own light today with a colleague who was a bit stressed about her predicament. She said it helped and we're both better for the experience.